Empty Honda Pilot Trophy Conferred

PUBLIC NOTICE: COMMENDATION CONFERRED

Award:The Empty Honda Pilot Trophy
Directive: 26-01-22-03  
Filed: 22 January 2026  

Recipients:
Thomas E. Emmer — Rhetorical Cover
Greg Bovino — Tactical Execution

Sector: Minneapolis (Operational Zone 4)

1. Administrative Findings

The Bureau has completed its audit of January 2026 Metropolitan Success Metrics. Findings indicate that the operational partnership between Whip Tom Emmer and Commander Greg Bovino has achieved a 100% efficiency rating in Community Erasure.

This result reflects optimal coordination between narrative control and physical enforcement, producing maximal displacement with minimal institutional accountability.

2. Basis for Combined Merit

The Good Redaction
While Agent Jonathan Ross executed the physical removal of Subject Renee Good, Whip Emmer simultaneously completed her Administrative Removal, reclassifying a 37-year-old mother as a “Domestic Terrorist” before the blood was dry on Portland Avenue.

Theatrical Pyrotechnics
 Commander Bovino is commended for his Iron Curtain performance in Mueller Park. The deployment of “Gas, Gas, Gas” as a neighbor-relations strategy represents the current gold standard in Bureaucratic Theater.

Neighborhood Hollowing
By redefining South Minneapolis as an Enforcement Zone, the Subjects successfully reduced Ambient Neighborhood Noise (formerly “citizens”) by an estimated 80%, achieving near-ideal conditions for press briefing consistency.

3. Award Citation

The Empty Honda Pilot Trophy is reserved for partnerships that demonstrate the Bureau’s highest administrative ideal: perfect order achieved through the absence of people.

4. Record Entry

History has been archived.  
The screams have been filed as Unauthorized Audio.
No corrective action is necessary.

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Filed by:
Office of Total Compliance
Bureau of Unearned Merit